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Infected with HIV by my sugar daddy


Nonhlanhla Dube, 28 is from Ermelo in the Gert Sibande district . Nine years ago, while attending my last year in high school, I met my ex-sugar daddy , with whom I became friends. He was a big business man in the district. Things were amazing. I even thought it was a love at first sight, but I was fooling myself.

After a month he was taking me to five stars hotels, the first time we had sexual intercourse, I pulled a condom in my bag and gave it to him. He said “we are in love; there’s no need for a condom”. He asked me in his sexy voice whether I didn’t trust him, because he trusted me.

We never used a condom then.

I decided to test for HIV because I heard talk of him having a wife, but when I asked him he just denied everything.

On the 1st of April 2004, I went for a Voluntary Counselling and Testing (VCT) and my test results were positive. It was horrifying to find that I was HIV-positive and immediately after my results I stop seeing him because I was so angry at him.

I met the wonderful, HIV-negative man I’m married to now and he was there when I needed support the most. I fell in love with him. He became my best friend, my biggest strength and my source of information, but mostly my true love. We joined TAC and that’s where I learn more about the HI-virus. I’m blessed with two beautiful, sweet daughters.

As parents we are teaching them about challenges of life and happiness as well. I already had forgiven the sugar daddy so that I can move on with my life, because forgiving is the only key of success.

If I only knew what I know now, I wouldn’t date an older man.

Cynthia Maseko is an OurHealth Citizen Journalist reporting from the Gert Sibande health district in Mpumalanga.


Health-e is a news agency that produces news and in-depth analysis for the print and electronic media. Their particular focus is HIV/AIDS, public health and issues regarding health policy and practice in South Africa. They provide print features for newspapers and magazines and well as broadcast packages for national and community radio stations. They also accept commissions. 

Information in this article was accurate in May 27, 2013. The state of the art may have changed since the publication date. This material is designed to support, not replace, the relationship that exists between you and your doctor. Always discuss treatment options with a doctor who specializes in treating HIV.