Face HIV with Dr. Watiti
My wife and I went for an HIV test and I tested positive, while
she tested negative. Our marriage is now on the rocks though in
public we try to hide it because we are leaders in our church.
What do we do? We are young, yet we now cannot have sex and our
church does not allow divorce?
HIV discordance, where two people in a sexual relationship test
differently for HIV, is fairly common in marriage where
consensual sex is practised.
So, you must be congratulated on having decided to go together
for the test because many people in discordant relationships do
not know it.
Instead of writing off your marriage, go for couple counselling.
An HIV/AIDS counsellor will guide you on how to continue with
your marriage, including sexual union while you are discordant.
It is important that you get in the practice of consistently and
correctly using condoms each time you have sex, since as you are
still young, abstaining can strain your relationship.
Condoms, when used consistently and correctly, can significantly
protect people from contacting HIV and other sexually transmitted
You could also join a support group of other people who are
living in discordant relationships for experience-sharing.
Most HIV/AIDS service organisations have such groups. Speak to
your doctor or counsellor.