Important note: Information in this Q&A was accurate in 2008. The state of the art may have changed since the publication date.I have a serious question that I have been researching for several days, but can't find a direct answer to and I know you can't diagnosis a person over the Internet....
I have a problem w/my live in boyfriend-been together having unprotected sex for over a year. Over this time his health has diminished. He claims it is due to black lung disease. He has been less than truthful in regard to his faithfulness, and now I'm questioning his honesty about his health. I find myself trying to attribute this decline to his having HIV.
I have witnessed severe halitosis, yeast in the mouth. (w/out any visible dental problems & proper hygiene), severe tiredness, dizzy spells, weight loss, persistent cough and breathing trouble (chest pain & fluid in the lungs) several large lumps covering his chest, back, and skin (fatty lumps under the skin that occasionally burn), and now he has a rash on his legs that he says burns when under water.
I have asked about his status and he denies having HIV. I have been tested myself with negative results. He has a 10 year old son that lives with us and I believe his dishonesty could relate to him wanting me to raise his son.
Are these symptoms of HIV or AIDS? Can I still be HIV-, and are there legal requirements about informing a partner about HIV? Does he have to tell me if he knows?
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this-- you are a Godsend for being here.
Trevor Hawkins, M. D.
Associate Clinical Professor, Dept. Family Practice, University New Mexico
Medical Director, Southwest CARE Center, Santa Fe, NM
There is no doubt that your boyfriend may have HIV disease. Do not have unprotected sex with him until he agrees to a test that you can see. If he does have HIV, he will need treatment right away and the sooner he starts the better. HIV is no longer a death sentence and with proper treatment he can be well again.
If he does not have HIV, he is clearly sick and needs medical help in any case.
Act immediately to protect yourself and to help him.
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